Insurance Policy Grappler Gifts

'Because of your inadequate insurance coverage, your baby arrived C.O.D.'

The Jeopardy of Progress

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

"Trust me, darling. It was only a bumper car ride. I promise, it won't affect your no claims bonus."

'Boy! The cost of health care is going up, up, up...'

Man crushing grapes with flippers.

"With this policy, at the age of 12, he receives 10 marrow bones a month."

'I think I caught one of those fish showing on the graph.'

"Your health insurance doesn't cover what you've got...so I'm diagnosing you with something they do cover."

"Marriage and water, I find, don't mix."

'Wait. . . wouldn't the Golden Harp be covered under the giant's homeowner's insurance?'

'Just as I thought...you can't collect on the life insurance by boring me to death.'

"I'm prepared to cover any out-of-pocket costs, Dr. Williter."

'There's only one side effect from this medication. It starts when you don't pay my bill!'

"I want to climb up mountains without a rope, jump down waterfalls and run through a swamp barefooted to film crocodiles. That's why I need travel insurance - I'm a scaredy-cat."

"Thank God we're insured"

"Your tests are back. We've ruled out anything covered by your HMO."

"Robyn Dixon got remarried!!!"

'That takes care of health, life, homeowner's, and car -- now, how about some alien abduction insurance?'

'Our insurance company doesn't cover saucer theft if it's left unlocked, so lock it even through this seems like a safe neighborhood.'

Insurance Co. Your right leg? Oh, dear, that's unfortunate.

'My Insurance won't pay for an MRI.'

"Don't worry. Insurance should cover it."

Public Safety Notice: Hold the Handrail/Public Hygiene Notice: Do Not Hold The Handrail

'The operation turned out better than I expected. Your insurance paid for everything.'

'Insure your desert island for as little as.....'

'Take two of these, stuff them waaaay up your nostrils and leave them there until you've paid your bill from three months ago.'

"I told my wife this place didn't offer full medical benefits!"

I'd like to refer you to a paleontologist, but I doubt your insurance covers that.

Woman looking at "Get Well" cards which have been divided into two sections: "Insured" and "Uninsured".

'I don't want a piece of the rock. I want money.'

'I can't examine you, but your health insurance does allow you access to a self-diagnosing website.'

"Now here's a difficult case. Her vitals are strong, but her HMO is weak."

May we see your insurance card again? The doctor would like to run some more tests on your coverage.