Insurance Irony Enthusiast Gifts

'Your medical problems are more complicated than I thought. I am going to refer you to another doctor, who has more medical insurance than I have.'

'Honesty is the best policy. It's also our most expensive.'

Car insurance company offering 'extra low premiums for people without a car'.

"These pills are $10 if you're paying for them... and $200 if your company is paying for them."

'I'm sorry, but medical science still knows very little about high-deductible insurance.'

'I'M prepared to suffer the slings and arrows of misfortune, but my health plan doesn't cover that.'

'The biopsy is tiny, but it will cost you an arm and a leg.'

You're fine, but we'd like to run some tests on your insurance card.

"Your insurance company says you're fully recovered now."

"Remember, Mr. Jones, whatever doesn't kill you makes your health insurance premiums go up."

'The frog is deceased, Mr. Graham. You don't need malpractice insurance.'

'...in sickness and in health, with full coverage or without...'

'Must have had bad weather at the Artist's Colony. All the claims start with 'It was a dark and stormy night.''

'Your policy doesn't cover you against huffing and puffing.'

'We may have to postpone medically probing you until we can confirm you have insurance to pay for it.'

'Of course, one advantage to lethal injection is that Medicaid might pay for it.'

"I really do think I could be an anarchist, but my insurance won't cover that."

"Have you noticed, our insurance policy has expired?"

"I have eternal life? Does that mean I can cancel my life insurance policy?"

"You're doing fine, and we're cautiously optimistic about your insurance."

Insurance agents in Heaven.

'Oh, sure, the whole nine lives thing is great until the life insurance premiums come due.'

'I'm sorry, but when you took out the policy, you never specified that it was a mobile home.'

'Looks like another cancellation notice on our car insurance...'

'Don't worry. This will hurt your insurance company more than it will hurt you.'

Yeah, your rates are very good, but your ads on TV just aren't funny enough

'There's good news and there's bad news. The bad news is that you're very ill, and the bad news is that your medical insurance has expired... Oh I'm sorry, did I say there was good news?'

Larry knew how to close a sale.

"I'm afraid our healthcare plan only covers the first five litters."

Nurse. It's from your insurance company -- A "Get well-final notice" card.

Your medical insurance ran out? Like it was being chased by a grizzly bear.

"Of course, this policy will exclude flood damage."

'I'm afraid your late wife's life insurance policy didn't cover culinary disasters.'

"You've got something very rare. Good health insurance."

"And that plan covers Acts of God, right?"