Insolvency Gifts

"I just knew we had something in common: me, a vulture and you, auditing Carillion."

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

'Yo-you Ma will now raise our spirits and assuage our pain.'

'Our company has hit an iceberg and is sinking fast. Of course, it's all very symbolic.'

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

"Pendleton will stay afloat no matter what!"

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

'Our company has hit an icebery and is sinking fast. Of course, it's all very symbolic.'

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

"They've got insulation to die for!"

'Cards for all occasions: takeover, buyouts, mergers, flotation, bankruptcy.'

'What a wonderful day to declare chapter 13!'

"I'm gonna ride it out!"

'I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you're going to get to relive the thrill of building your company up from nothing!'

"Well, the first reactions to the terrible truth are anger and sadness, but now it's time to act like men!"

"Can I dress business casual even though I lost our business?"

"Your assets will be frozen? Oh, boy, is it going to snow?"

A bald eagle approaches middle age

"Even after all that's happened, I feel no less regal."

'Are you sure this isn't the point in which we should stop following the invisible hand of the marketplace?'

"Is it my imagination, or does our use of correction fluid increase as people's teeth get whiter?"

Easy Budget Terms Are Not That Easy.

'Sometimes I wonder how things would have turned out, if I'd gotten Mom's eyes and Dad's hair.'

'As your friend, I'd advise you to leave the country. As your accountant, I advise you to file for bankruptcy.'

"After the crash I wanted to shoot myself... but I could not afford the bullet."

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

"That's it - we've eaten the last of the energy bills."

'What do you buy the man who has lost everything?'

'Will that be on your store charge?'

"Hi! I am on the rails!"

"I'm sorry, Ma, but we're forced to sell the art collection."

"The 'Condolences on you Bankruptcy' cards are over there and the 'Congratulations on Your Tax Rebate' cards are on aisle 5. . ."