Financial Instability Gifts

'You don't qualify for a loan or a credit card. We can, however, over you a free bank calender.'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

'Yo-you Ma will now raise our spirits and assuage our pain.'

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

City Redundancies - In? Out?

"Pendleton will stay afloat no matter what!"

Medical student overdrafts...careers in the law.

'That's where they keep all the money I don't have anymore.'

'I'm sorry, Collin, but our Dreyfus Mid-Cap fund completely tanked, so we're going to have to let you go.'

'Recession is when the Jones have a tough time keeping up with themselves.'

'Having the money tree has really helped out.'

The company's going bankrupt,you'll need to get someone in to bite my nails for me!

"I'm gonna ride it out!"

A Balanced budget.

'Our nest egg finally got rotten.'

"Your assets will be frozen? Oh, boy, is it going to snow?"

"Even after all that's happened, I feel no less regal."

Didn't know as much about the market as I thought I did.

'Our 401(k) is now a 201(k).'

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

"Right, all those in favour of a car boot sale."

"They say you're a miracle worker, so I'm wondering if you could part my sea of red ink?"

"That's it - we've eaten the last of the energy bills."

"Your money is no longer working for you. It got laid off."

"All I did was ask it if we'll ever collect Social Security and Medicare."

"It's a bicycle. My dad lost our Christmas club money in Atlantic City so I won't get the rest of it until my birthday."

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

"I just knew we had something in common: me, a vulture and you, auditing Carillion."

'Your 401 (K) went down the drain, but if it's any consolation, you can keep the commemorative cup.'

"I'm sorry, Ma, but we're forced to sell the art collection."

'Strategic plan B: we chop down all the office plants and grow vegetables.'

'Read an investment book that changed my life...please help.'

In case of insolvency break glass.

The Usual Suspects

Stress.