Bankruptcy Gifts

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

Card section: Condolence (real estate).

Ran out of money.

'Thinks are worse than I thought.'

'Our company has hit an iceberg and is sinking fast. Of course, it's all very symbolic.'

'You've lost everything but the shirt on your back ... although, is that a designer label?'

'I told you we were in trouble financially. Our building has been repossessed.'

"I never thought I'd end up here, bankrupt, sitting next to my financial advisor."

'Are you sure this isn't the point in which we should stop following the invisible hand of the marketplace?'

'What do you buy the man who has lost everything?'

'Our builder went bankrupt?...Okay, at least he got the most important room done.'

"He wants us to start paying in cash, in advance."

'first it was bankruptcy,then I totaled my four-wheeler,then my marriage.Now the magic has gone out of casting.'

"I lost everything-the business, the house, the landscape."

'As your friend, I'd advise you to leave the country. As your accountant, I advise you to file for bankruptcy.'

"Bad day; I found out that my financial planning is living in his car."

"You should have come to me sooner."

'Can we lose our shirts and get away with calling it a wardrobe malfunction?'

"It's not about the money; it's about the lack of money!"

"I'll be in my office, Ms. Caldwell. Please let me know when I have nothing left to lose."

"After the crash I wanted to shoot myself... but I could not afford the bullet."

"The 'Condolences on you Bankruptcy' cards are over there and the 'Congratulations on Your Tax Rebate' cards are on aisle 5. . ."

"I had the financial world by the tail. Then it got diarrhea."

'Stocks rose on news that high unemployment is increasing consumption of booze, cigarettes, and fees for divorce counseling, therapy, and bankruptcies.'

'That resembles the look on my banker's face when he foreclosed on my house.'

'Having reviewed your finances I think your best option is to run from the office screaming 'Oh! My GOD I'm bankrupt, I'm ruined, dear god how did it happen?''

Easy Budget Terms Are Not That Easy.

'Our company has hit an icebery and is sinking fast. Of course, it's all very symbolic.'

"Hi! I am on the rails!"

'Will that be on your store charge?'

"I put all my money into swimsuit manufacturing stock and went bankrupt...can I sue myself for being stupid enough to believe in global warming?"

The hangman's noose

"Can I dress business casual even though I lost our business?"

Two litigants

"You'll lose your home, but, since it was your dream, you may keep the white picket fence."