Insightful Communicator Pillows

"Those are wonderful insights jack but we're, Looking for actual ideas."

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

"Dad's got a promotion. How can now mute middle management."

'Can't we handle this through more impersonal channels like text messaging?'

'Uh, yeah, the picture resolution is great.'

'Of course, this social contract will have to remain hypothical until someone invents writing.'

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

"I've learned to give up when I hear Brooklyn in your voice."

By teaching the parrot a few key phrases, Marilyn no longer needs to nag her kids.

Time for speeches

We can do ANYTHING if we all work TOGETHER.

Yogi back in 5.

"I can't remember, did you text me, call me, tweet me, email me, or just tell me about it?"

"I am staying ‘present,’ and presently she’s annoying me!"

"Your free-floating anxiety is floating over to me."

Statue of Christopher Columbus

Our manicure special today is 'Text Message Tips.' I contour your nails so you can hit all those tiny little keys!

"Hi, it's me. My mum's confiscated my mobile." (Kid talks to friend using margarine tub and string).

"The reason they seem so small is because you have all 12,000 employees on your Zoom meeting."

'You'll be fine. Take two aspirin and call, fax, text or email me in the morning.'

"The meaning of life? To be honest, I haven't given it much thought."

"Sometimes it's good to just pause and reflect on how obscenely rich we are."

"If you want me to ask him that you'll have to wait until after the watershed."

"What do you mean: 'You don't believe that this is my answerphone'? Do you think I'd lie?"

Shark SMS Text

If a tweet is sent out and no one signs up to read it, does it exist? Happens millions of times a day.

'Mr. Watson?.. Alexander Graham Bell here. I'm a first-time caller...'

"Let's stop this before we both say a lot of things we mean."

Aliens man telephone store named ET&T Phones.

"Exhaustive research has determined that cats don't like baby talk."

"I'm sorry, but you're not the patient your father was."

Sex therapist...

'My son never called me until he became a telemarketer.'