Insect Tactician Gifts

When cockroaches go unchecked.

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

Garden pond: mosquito breeding ground

The Jose Padilla Experience

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."

"But mom, all you said was 'get all your stuff up off the floor!' "

'Your Honor, we've finally agreed on a verdict.'

"May I treat him as a hostile lawyer?"

"I really wanted to get you off but I didn't want to make a mockery of Justice."

'Oh, we tried a nurturing corporate culture, but we found the law-of-the-jungle mentality is what keeps our competitive edge..'

"You did order the chemical-free insecticide."

"Put away the gummy candies and bring out the apples. The kid's mother is our dentist!"

"We know you have better treats than raisins...we hacked your supermarket loyalty card."

'Honey, you can't keep running to Daddy every time you find a little bug or something in your pool!'

'There is something I have been meaning to mention since I was named to the Supreme Court... I've never actually read the Constitution.'

'You didn't 'win' anything, just declared not guilty.'

"Can we have all of your candy, a dog biscuit and a smoke for my cat friend here?"

'My client is requesting a little more wiggle room,your Honor.'

"It has come to my attention that there's a traitor in our midst."

Just as he was about to be annihilated, Dirk makes an amazing discovery,

"The defendant wishes to change his plea, from 'not guilty' to 'no collusion'."

Good news, I reduced your sentence from 250 years to 150 years!

"My client got twenty years, yet he paid me in full. It just shows the system works."

'I told you it wouldn't work. You just can't predict what a jury is going to do.'

'Do what I did. Tell your mother you want a pet snake. Then she'll get you a dog.'

Office De-cluttering

'Nice decorating. I like the clothes and toys everywhere...and the half eaten sandwich really ties it all together!'

"I don't like the looks of this! That's our jury consultant!"

'Your Honor, I'm here to make excuses for my client.'

Dr. Miller like to show off his ability to remove a full set of braces in one quick, bare-handed, jolt.

"One is a sham bag for my parents to confiscate."