Inns And Hotels Gifts

"After losing my partner, I felt lost until I realized I had not only an empty shell but also a short-term accommodation business."

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

'Now here's a place I like!'

'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'

Birds talking about package holiday makers - "Amazing how they find there way back every year."

Hotel with sign 'Home sweet temporary home'

The Suite Hereafter

"If you are a Democrat, Mrs. Hooper-Smith does the Macarena during your pancakes."

Mini Bar

"Enjoy your stay at the Bat Hotel. Breakfast is at 7 a.m. The guano bucket is down the hall and to the left."

'Bed & Bagel'

A mini Kebab take-away and a minibar

Biliard Enthusiast

'Hello room service - can you come and tuck me in and read me a story please'

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

'My parents couldn't afford to send me to college, so they let me spend a night at a Ramada.'

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

Cut out and keep your own Room Service.

"Here’s the thermostat. Like all hotel thermostats, it’s just for show."

Hotel mini-bar.

Seal blubber stew

'Front desk? Someone came in my room and ate the little candies on my pillow.'

'Oh, the amenity!'

'look at this hotel. They leave a ball of yarn on your pillow!'

'What gave him this idea?'

'I don't know if we should stay there, dear. That kennel only got two stars.'

" ....you didn't say wanted one that worked."

Harbor Hotel: 'Absolutely NO swashbuckling after 10 PM'.

'No luggage.'

'Would you like a room on the sunny side, sir? Haha, just kidding!'

"There's a less crowded and more attractive beach at the newly renovated, moderately priced Hotel del Mar, in nearby . . ."

Graffiti on baseboard.