Hotel Industry Gifts

Sparrow Hilton

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

'We earn extra money by renting out your office at night.'

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

'Now here's a place I like!'

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

"Tracy Island offers palatial splendour in the safest of environments. Your beds are unmade because this is Tracy Emin Island."

Birds talking about package holiday makers - "Amazing how they find there way back every year."

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

Hotel with sign 'Home sweet temporary home'

The Suite Hereafter

"If you are a Democrat, Mrs. Hooper-Smith does the Macarena during your pancakes."

Mini Bar

How Patrick Moore chooses a hotel..."Hmmm four stars".

'Bed & Bagel'

'What if I promise not to look?'

Biliard Enthusiast

'Hello room service - can you come and tuck me in and read me a story please'

No early morning tea past this landing

Special! Continental breakfast...$3.99: 'What continent is this suppose to represent - Antarctica!'

Bed and Breakfast

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

"After losing my partner, I felt lost until I realized I had not only an empty shell but also a short-term accommodation business."

Articulated taxicab serving two hotels.

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

"Here’s the thermostat. Like all hotel thermostats, it’s just for show."

"Shoot, I forgot this place has early checkout."

French 75s at the Stafford

'Rest assured, this hotel is second to none in providing for all the creature comforts.'

Hotel mini-bar.