Hotel Industry Gifts

Sparrow Hilton

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

'We earn extra money by renting out your office at night.'

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

'Now here's a place I like!'

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

Birds talking about package holiday makers - "Amazing how they find there way back every year."

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

Hotel with sign 'Home sweet temporary home'

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

The Suite Hereafter

Mini Bar

"If you are a Democrat, Mrs. Hooper-Smith does the Macarena during your pancakes."

Biliard Enthusiast

No early morning tea past this landing

'Hello room service - can you come and tuck me in and read me a story please'

Bed and Breakfast

How Patrick Moore chooses a hotel..."Hmmm four stars".

'What if I promise not to look?'

'Bed & Bagel'

Special! Continental breakfast...$3.99: 'What continent is this suppose to represent - Antarctica!'

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

'Rest assured, this hotel is second to none in providing for all the creature comforts.'

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

French 75s at the Stafford

"Here’s the thermostat. Like all hotel thermostats, it’s just for show."

'Oh, the amenity!'

"After losing my partner, I felt lost until I realized I had not only an empty shell but also a short-term accommodation business."

The trips postponed by La Covid continue

"Shoot, I forgot this place has early checkout."