Hospitality Industry Gifts

'Should we open a casino in our hotel?'... 'It'll be a gamble.'

"The worker shortage is real."

Ernie just got hired at the hotel down the street. I don't think he's ever worked at a hotel before. Ernie, you're a doorman! I was guessing you'd be a bellhop or front desk clerk. No, I don't have any experience working in hotels. Everybody without experience starts out as a doorman. It's the only entry position they have here!

"It's your tip to lose."

"Quick sir. The Lounge Lizards are threatening a creep out!"

'and please accept our apologies for the overbooking of the Bridal Suite!'

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Cardiac Recovery.

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

"Valet park only"

"What's happened to Quiche?"

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

Prawn Cocktail Please

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

'Would you folks like sparkling water or tap water?'

Would madam like me to send over the sympathy steward?

"I’ll have something for you as soon as Table Seven sees the entrée prices."

The Suite Hereafter