Innovation Critique Gifts

'Understand that if you work for me, and you have one of your 'fresh ideas', I'm going to ignore it. At least until the next Board Meeting - when I'll present it as another of MY great, innovative visions for the future of the company!'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

Crap from the future.

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

"You'll do everything...accounting, marketing, manufacturing...with no pay or benefits...and three years from now we'll trade you in for a newer, sexier model."

"AI chat bot"

Bureaucrats held up by the workers.

Social media and censorship...

Modern Life Blues

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Oh, the armor is state of the art

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).

Feel alienated by technology? Tell me more. Press 1 for yes, 2 for no.

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'

"We're having a lot of trouble with this model, sir - it's lasting indefinitely."

'What's PPI and how did you get this number?'

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

"Frank, I need your help. The computers are down, but I was told you know how to multiply two numbers together."

"I don't care if it does have wifi. . . it's a vegetable peeler!"

"Do you remember when families used to get together and fight at Christmas?"

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"For a list of the ways artificial intelligence is killing your job, please press one."

'It's been going on for three years. When can we tell Scott it's really a shredder?'

"Well, by that logic no one would ever shave a clock onto a monkey."

"My kid could have done that with AI."

"He's our new trend-spotter?"

Bad Office Planning

"How does one experience the ultimate selfie? Swallow your cell phone."

"My battery died too. Wanna talk?"

The nurse of the future

When technology goes too far #2. The wireless yo-yo. q

'Sorry...I don't do hugs!'

"They hired a cat to distract them from thoughts of change."

"To give it credibility let's tell the boss we stole our business idea from the Japanese instead of thinking it up ourselves!"