Ink Spillage Analyst Gifts

A bureaucrat works under fear of punishment.

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

Oil Spill Hits Wall St.

"I can remember when water was just wet."

'I finally got a grip on reality, and evidently I squeezed too hard.'

'While 10-15 years of cellaring are recommended and would certainly improve the bouquet and taste, no, there'sno reason why you can't go out back, behind the dumpster and down the whole thing in 1 chug.'

'We let 65 people try the '03 Malbec and told them they couldn't just describe it as 'good'. The result: 65 said it was 'very good'.'

"And this is the ultimate in low-flush toilets!"

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

"Oh no!"

'I need something to spill.'

"New guy seems pretty aloof."

'The one on the left is a beverage analyst for Huff & Swoon, and the one on the right is a drunk; or is it the other way around?'

"Sure it's pure. Not as pure as what we supply to high-tech industry, but pure enough to drink."

Music charts development.

'When I get the clumsies, switch me to a sippy-cup.'

Chemoco International

Pool Sample

'How long have you felt this need to protect the net'

Lifeguard stand with a sign saying "Swim Critic"

'Life is like a toilet roll. It's only when you've reached the end do you realize how much you've wasted.'

'Sure, you've led me to water, but no way you'll get me to drink it: It's polluted!'

"Sure, all the diseases come down here, but so do all the antibiotics."

Ed could talk the talk and walk the walk, but just not while carrying hot liquids.

"I'm sorry, sir, I can't inspect your water lines. I just read the meter."

Wishing Well: I'd get this tested if I were you.

"I know this is a survey on recycled sewage... but is "Piss poor" good or bad?"

Putin.