Ink Connoisseur Pillows

Tolstoy with 'War & Peace' tattooed on his knuckles.

'No ice.'

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Where Indian ink came from.

Join me in a Martini?

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

'Man...You age great!'

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

Artist's Equipment Comes To Life

"You know what they say, time flies when you're having rum!"

Stationers' sign leaking ink onto a passer-by.

'The way I see it, drinking is its own reward.'

Malcolm Sargent

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

Redhead

"Don't worry your majesty, they can't see you, this is a one way mirror."

'Fried chickens.'

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

"Would you care to accessorize each other?"

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

Penny

'As soon as I get a small tattoo, I'm going to take up yoga.'

Next Round Indicator

"I thought he was into fitness, but his 'fitness tracker' turned out to be a flea and tick collar."

Pub restrooms; Thugs - Thugettes