Injury Prognosticator Pillows

'It's probably nothing.'

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

"....H....5....N...1...???You got me.... but I'm sure it spells trouble."

"Well, there's nowhere to go but up."

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

Beware of the 4th quarter.

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

'That is correct on so many levels Jenkins!'

Horse five to win, unless they change the jockey.

doom.com

'Well, I'll be darned! It looks like just a lot of the same old stuff from here on out for you.'

"Hmm, offhand, I'd say you have a nasty case of tennis elbow!"

'Looks like I might have to rethink the football idea!'

'Took longer than I thought it would.'

'I see things starting to break your way. Your computer will break down. Your car will break down...'

'Uh-oh ... Manning got hit hard, and he's not getting up.'

'Good news! The stock market is about to explode upwards on...'

A Dow Jones Industrial Average Correction Is Near

"It's seasonal, like the first gritters of Winter and the first cuckoos of Spring...the first pollsters of the election!"

"...And your underpants were unusually clean for someone who got hit by a bus."

'The End is Near' and 'There's No End In Sight.'

Mr. Science Times

'Our rivals have issued a big profit warning, so we'll issue an even bigger warning.'

Two doomsayers, one with a sign saying 'The end is near due to global warming' and the other 'The end is near due to nuclear winter'.

'Tell me more about your premonition of impending dom, Mr Syms...'

'Now do you think that's done any good?'

"Don't waste your money,dearie-there's only one score draw next Saturday!"

'Everyone left, and it's only the second inning. We should have asked them who's going to win.'

"Turns out the sky isn’t falling … it's just the global markets crumbling."