Injury Defier Gifts

Man on treadmill with one leg in a cast.

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

To do before Saturday...

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"Well, guys... I guess we'll just have to ask Siri where we are." "No! Don't do that!" "Yeah! We know exactly what we're doing!" "Dude! Have you forgotten our credo?" "Society for the refusal to ask for directions."

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'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

Zoom Wedding

'Eric! Look for his pressure point! He's got to have a pressure point somewhere!'

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

If middle-age birthday cards were honest...

'If this is your true age, then you're the youngest case of senility I've ever seen.'

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

St John's ambulance member "I prefer rugby myself, more blood shed"

Tragedy and Remedy.

'As I always say, 'If at first you don't get a passing building inspection report, get mad and tear it up.''

'I want something to make me look younger.'

Old Biker: Now that I'm a real biker, all the old babes will want my body.

'Very funny!'

"You've been traded to the Red Sox for an outfielder with a broken arm."

'IF this is your true age, then you're the youngest case of senility I've ever encountered.'

'Mirror mirror on the wall who's the fairest one of all considering her age?'

'I think this fishing injury is more serious than you're letting on!'

"I say if he wants to take up ballet, we should let him."

"Let's face it, Michele. We're not getting any older."

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

'Wow, Ed! You look so much younger! Cosmetic surgery?' 'No. Digital enhancement!'

"Can I add just one more project to your workload?"

Don't call me old...I prefer 'chronologically challenged'.

"Sign here that you acknowledge the risks."

Gym. Stay young through diet and exercise. I find it much easier to just lie about my age.

My birthday suit is out of fashion.