Injury Defier Gifts

Man on treadmill with one leg in a cast.

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

To do before Saturday...

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

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'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

Zoom Wedding

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

'If this is your true age, then you're the youngest case of senility I've ever seen.'

If middle-age birthday cards were honest...

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

St John's ambulance member "I prefer rugby myself, more blood shed"

Tragedy and Remedy.

'As I always say, 'If at first you don't get a passing building inspection report, get mad and tear it up.''

'Mirror mirror on the wall who's the fairest one of all considering her age?'

'I want something to make me look younger.'

'I think this fishing injury is more serious than you're letting on!'

Old Biker: Now that I'm a real biker, all the old babes will want my body.

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

"You've been traded to the Red Sox for an outfielder with a broken arm."

'IF this is your true age, then you're the youngest case of senility I've ever encountered.'

"Let's face it, Michele. We're not getting any older."

'Very funny!'

'Wow, Ed! You look so much younger! Cosmetic surgery?' 'No. Digital enhancement!'

Don't call me old...I prefer 'chronologically challenged'.

"Can I add just one more project to your workload?"

Caution - Low gravity zone.

'The kid is being tried as an adult. The old man is in his second childhood, so he's being tried as a juvenile.'

"Sign here that you acknowledge the risks."