Information Desk Worker Gifts

The sublime, the ridiculous.

'Could you... maybe just write me a little note about it?'

Lost and forgotten department

"Sorry, but that's one of the things you're better off not knowing."

'That's a little bit out of my line...Why don't you ask the family physician?'

'Do you have a pet store in this mall?' 'Oh, no! I like them all!'

'To make my day less boring mind telling me if it's animal,vegetable or mineral?'

'You know too much!'

"Thanks for that. Do you mind if I ask you a few maths questions now?"

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

Where your mind & battle are los

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"My email is down... talk to me."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

'The check is in the email attachment.'