Information Desk Staff Gifts

"Which way is track nine?"

'Beats me, pal -- this is my first day on the job.'

"What do you mean - you don't know?"

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

"Useless information"

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

We're transferring you to company headquarters so you can kiss company hindquarters.

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

Finger on the Z Key

"Our cloud computing services include IaaS, PaaS, SaaS, NaaS, CaaS...and BaaS!"

"This is our new head of conflict resolution."

"Oh, Him? That's our IT guy."

'Bring me an in basket and an out basket and some paperwork to shuffle between them.'

'What makes you think you know so much?' - 'Your questions.'

Not all service desk staff were pleased about the new bring your own device policy

Sometimes I feel the company would collapse if we weren't here.

IN, More IN (man working at desk)

West End Shows closing - box office piled high with boxes.

"You told me to make a desktop shortcut, so I did. Just take the shortcut I made through the mess."

"This is my first day. I don't have any yet."

'It's about your reports, Mittens. They're incomprehensible -- It's as if you walked across the keyboard, laid down and rolled over it a hundred times, then took a nap on it.'

"I think somebody thinks I've been away from my desk too long."

"You know what they say...'The desk makes the man.'"

'Botox.'

"I told you when you moved into Dr. Condee's office that his bookshelves were due to collapse any day."

'I used to be a major player around here until I was side-lined by an ethics injury.'

With absolutely no warning, Phil crossed the fine line separating business from pleasure and was never heard from again.

"The buck stops next door"

'Great job! As your reward, you can have a cash bonus or go untethered for a week.'

'When I said, throw him out, I didn't mean it literally.'

'Apparently you haven't heard, Hawkins, about things going paperless!'