Info Junkie Gifts

Department of Pure Speculation.

'I've tried to tell Stuart he's over-loading himself with too much information but...'

National Everything Awareness Day

I have a cold or my head is too full.

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

Trial by Media

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated.

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

Squeezing the Free Press.

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

"What I do is pick up the morning paper, go through it carefully, and then, depending on how I feel about things, I either say the Pledge of Allegiance, stand there and do nothing, or walk out of the classroom."

Trump pardons

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

"Who's got the hammer?"

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

'Here's MY information highway!'

"Away with the warmonger!"

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

The economy.