Information Junkies Gifts

Useless information desk at trivia buff convention

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

"Let me assure you that my congressional delegation and I are devoting our full attention to the harmful effects of e-cigarettes. . ."

'Here's MY information highway!'

National Everything Awareness Day

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

'I'm designing a robot that'll do my drafting homework for me,'

Addicted to Facebook...lost internet connection.

"Never mind the sea, does it get wi-fi?"

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

"The Gross National Product and the Gross Domestic Product are doing okay. It's the Gross Domestic Mojo that's going down the toilet."

"Wait -- I have an app that creates a napkin to write the contract terms on."

'The next big thing is ultra nano.'

'I hunt and I gather. I invented multitasking.'

Ian Hislop

Trump returns home

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

"So, gentlemen.... By investing in this time vortex manipulator, we will be able to cross the bridges before we come to them."

"You should run for president."

'So what if few limp-wristed girlie men think we're too extreme!'

'Sorry, you're overqualified for this job.'

Uncle Mort, have you been playing with your home genetic engineering kit again? Guilty. I was trying to clone my own DNA. For laughs, I mixed up my genes with compost. Mixed up? Technically, cross-bred. Trump is a meathead! Well, you're a vegetable.

"Actually, I worked my way up from ideas and you can too!"

Man bombarded by sale adverts in the media

Atty.-Gen. Sessions reveals new law enforcement strategies to deal with opioid epidemic.

"This is genius, Ted. We can't use it. Nobody will believe I thought of it."

Internet Cafe

The Epic Battle Over Anthony Kennedy's Replacement Is the Charadiest of All Charades Ever

"Stop! Information overload. I need to rebuffer."

"I'll need all the information you can find on why I need so much information."