Info Junkie T-Shirts

Department of Pure Speculation.

'I've tried to tell Stuart he's over-loading himself with too much information but...'

National Everything Awareness Day

I have a cold or my head is too full.

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

Trial by Media

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated.

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

Squeezing the Free Press.

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

Trump pardons

"What I do is pick up the morning paper, go through it carefully, and then, depending on how I feel about things, I either say the Pledge of Allegiance, stand there and do nothing, or walk out of the classroom."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"Who's got the hammer?"

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

'Here's MY information highway!'

"Away with the warmonger!"

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

Donald Trump Removing Aggressor Label From Vladimir Putin

The economy.

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"