Info Gatherer Gifts

'I am the 'fly on the wall' you speak of. What would you like to know?'

National Everything Awareness Day

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

"Oh, great, there are the Cardwells. Bet you they try to talk to us about their levitating cube."

Midwest Winter Items.

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

The 24-Hour Celebrities Doing Something Stupid Channel.

"Goodnight Tommy, sleeptight, watch the millenium bugs don't bite."

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

'What makes you think you know so much?' - 'Your questions.'

Hold on

"When you grow up would you rather be a Hunter or Gatherer?"

'Nothing like some tea and symphony.'

The Before-You-Know It-It'll-Be-Obsolete Computer Company

"...I have the oddest 'earliest memory' and I wanted to share it. It's just as wekkm I guess. Knowing some man secretly attended my first birthday party has caused me to question my parentage all these years....Especially since Mother Park made me promise not to tell Father that the potted plant was acually J. Edgar Hoover."

"Oh, its just a fun fur that my husband got me."

"I had half a date last weekend."

"Facts are good, but we need all the rumors, gossip, and speculation to fully understand the situation."

CIA, NOW HIRING, 'My resume? - I memorized it and burned it.'

Weekend paper with an index to the supplements it contains.

I try to stick to hunting. My wife makes me take a list when I'm gathering.

'It's called the iBarrow. It's a wheelbarrow to carry all your chargers around.'

'As a career goal, I'd like to work in government, get the goods on someone, and write a tell-all book.'

Join the Army! And see the world! Satellite reconnaissance photo analysis division.

'Newton's fourth law - physicists congregate periodically in obscure European cities to have their picture taken, and then they quickly disperse.

Reporters growing on a tree.

'Not ANOTHER pub boarded up!'

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

"I'm just going to te hairdressers. They've got some new gossip in."

'Wine and. . . fresh news. . .'

"Oh, now I remember you. You live in that big shoe on the corner."

"Back from hunting with nothing again?"

Magazine Lover's Weekly magazine

"Boss, there's a rumor going around that someone lost a $1,000 bill in the cafe. There are like 200 people out there." "Interesting. And I assume they're all looking for the $1,000 bill. I assume they don't want anyone else to know about it before they find it." "I assume each of them is buying our food and drink so the others won't suspect they're here with ulterior motives." "I wonder who could have possibly spread such a rumor in the first place?" "Very bad man."