Infant Feeding Dilemmas Gifts

"Bottled or breast?"

'Strained carrots again! What am I being punished for this time?'

Mother puts extra long dummy in babies mouth.

"You keep impeccable time."

"I'd rather eat your homework."

'So this is goodbye then!'

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

Parent is going to elaborate lengths to get the baby to eat.

'No creamed peas for me today!'

"I think what I love most is the smile on her face as she feeds me!"

Baby with straw to eat out of bib.

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

No bottle feeding.

'Can't one eat in peace!'

"Compared to that regurgitation phase, this is fine dining."

'I'm fat, I eat too much and my blood pressure is high. . . Have a beer and some chips but feel guilty about it.'

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

'Are you trying to tell me that neither of you get penalty rates for the 2 a.m feed?'

"Fill it up!"

Roger couldn't understand why his diet wasn't working.

'Chocolate covered raisins, chocolate covered strawberries...is not what I mean when I said that fruit is healthy for you.'

"Relax sir, I'm sure chef barely remembers you posting a negative review online."

'My first solids. Do breasts get jealous?'

"I hate airplane food!"

'Just the one, thanks.'

Cat wakes up owner demanding to be fed.

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Don't let the Weetabix dry.'

'What do you sugget for a couple of fuddyduddies who love hot and spicy, but have to eat bland?'

It was time to start the lockdown diet.

"I think I'll just leave a hate tip."

'What's this about the food tasting funny?'

'Water? Still? Sparkling? Mountain? Hill? Bottle? Tap? Warm? Cold? Ice? Lemon?'

Fast food trap.

"Does skipping breakfast count as both exercise and dieting?"

Edith told Hank that if he gained any more weight, she's leave him. Hank just wanted the cake and Edith too.