Industrial Philosopher Gifts

"Someday, son, this will all be dust, swept from the earth by disaster...."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

Humans...What is their purpose?

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

"Cash, Jordan. That's what separates man from the apes."

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

'I hate his kind. They use their integrity and hard work to advance their careers.'

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

'Unforeseeable future site of Hainesmore Industries.'

'You've become like a son to me, Alvin. But the company has strict rules against nepotism, so I have to let you go.'

Tempest in a Teapot

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

"Lately, I've been trying to spend less time staring at the glowing orb."

Genius

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

'. . .actually I'm not a real Guru, I was forced up here originally by the property prices.'

Computer help.

What Business People often say (and what they really mean)

'Give it to me straight, Mr. Erskine. Is there a downside to unmitigated greed?'

"Leadership is about more than delegating all of your work."

"You're allowed to think outside the box, as long as you stay inside the margins."

Worked Well In Groups...

"It's a self-driving skateboard."

'I say, let's not be hasty in enforcing the mandatory retirement age.'

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

'They say money can't buy happiness. Find out what can.'

'You said you wanted more responsibility, so I'm making you responsible for everything that goes wrong.'