Industrial Insights Guru Gifts

Redundancies

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

Jack of all trades

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

The MBA Draft

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"Any questions?"

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

Will work for ETFs

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

'You'll be happy to see that I've finally managed to turn things around.'

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

Career opportunities

"Invest in technology."

"Uh-Oh..."

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

The Shrinking Dollar.

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

'Our job will be to drag the competition down to our level.'

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

'This is where I hang out until bullishness makes a comeback.'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'