Indulgent Epicure Gifts

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Putting a steak, chicken wings and potato chips on a salad kind of negates the eating healthy concept."

To do before Saturday...

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Wendy likes horses...and she is a keen cook.

"You may not know this, but I've become quite the wine expert."

'Leeks can disappoint you and garlic will break your heart, but only onions make you cry.'

"And it was at the moment I realized that the only thing holding me back from culinary excellence was a bucket-load of butter."

"It's the Chef Surprise."

"Don't hold back on the toad legs now - I'm through with Nouvelle Cuisine!"

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

Dessert

'...and that concludes this seminar on healthy living. Now, if anyone cares to join me, I'm off to that new place down the street for some steak and a few beers.'

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

"I ain't particular, but are you sure a '71 claret is the right choice for these here beans?"

"Well, I don't care if it is some kind of fancy-schmancy restaurant...if I want ketchup, I'm gonna get ketchup!"

'My doctor said I'm digging my own grave with a spoon and fork. It'll take longer if I use only a fork.'

"I've kept both of my New Year's resolutions! Three donuts a day and more time in my pyjamas!"

'I'll leave it entirely to you...as long as it's a red...for exactly $20...from Napa...made from Merlot...2006 vintage...'

'Do you have something that's good for you, but tastes like it's bad for you?'

"Not just a wheel, Trog, but a wheel of aged Parmigiano Reggiano!"

"Best served at street temperature, delicious served with dustbin chipsor gutter squashed, half eaten kebab..."

'I'm new in town, and looking for a what-the-hell-you-only-live-once doctor...'

'Maybe I'll die earlier because I drink, smoke and eat too much. But at least, I'll die happily!'

Family 'Bored' Games

"Excuse me for a moment. I have to go and refinance this dinner bill."

Treat at the Colinderies.

"How come mom never fixes cake and ice cream for breakfast like you do, Dad?"

"I'm looking for a red with a fruity bouquet, lightly peppery on the palate, and will get me smashed in under 3 glasses."

"I can't hurry when ordering. There's a lot of ecological geopolitics involved here."

Obese family going into ' Pud you like ' establishment.