Induction Drama Survivor Gifts

"Well I hope that gives you a flavour of what the work is about...any questions?"

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

"She left everything to you. But, the hamster is contesting the will."

"It's a weak pilot, but, if your stick with it, by Season 3 you grow completely numb to the show's quality and just keep hitting Next Episode."

'Hello, 9-1-1? I need a rescue team right away... The prof is in the pudding.'

That Bear Grylls eats some EVIL crap, I'm telling you!

Snack machine in EastEnders canteen has a sign saying: 'Well out of order.'

"When you're voted out of "Survivor", I thought they just sent you home!"

"Oh boy! My favorite show. 'Survivor: Babysitter Edition.'"

"An exclusive group. Each survived three scandals and was re-elected."

"You are so lucky I keep kosher."

'It just hasn't been my day.'

Robot Bores

'I gotta go, Jezebel. My soap is coming on: 'Nine Lives to Live'!'

'This day goes from bad to worse.'

Work Meeting Rules

Survivor Game

"I think we need to have that talk to explain how bad stuff happens in the world."

"I only kill the messenger if PowerPoint is involved."

"Our telenovela will return after a word from our sponsor."

"Tia Carmen's answering service...can I help you? When will she be available? I'd say during the next commercial break in her telenovela."

Going Under the Horse Jump.

'What a day. My girlfriend left me, and my dog died. My only consolation is that it can't get any worse!'

"Actually I'm conducting a little experiment for the BBC"

"My wife watches SO many medical shows I can only talk to her during visiting hours..."

"Of all the hundreds of islands I could get washed up on, I get to land on Hell's Island."

Clancy: Coot of a Day

Message in a bottle breaks on a rock.

'West Enders.'

"Don't you think you're taking these programmes a bit too seriously?"

Desert Island Death.