Income Evaluator Pillows

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

'My salary increase got a few oo-hs.. but no ah-hs..'

Income inequality vs Income Diversity.

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

'I received matching offers.'

"When you say you love your life, should I be happy for you?"

'We first met here - when I was doing your job.'

Sex Score

"About your self employed expenses, do you do anything purely for pleasure?"

'I want a bigger piece of the pie.'

"Has it been in your family long?"

"Do you realise 25% of your salary goes to the government?"

'Can you make good money as a salesman for our company? Let's put it this way - look around you!'

'Government performance targets reach unprecedented levels.'

'Maybe you just can't have hope and change at the same TIME.'

Name That Salary

'You say here you're a people person.'

"It all began with trying to measure project outcomes."

'And as a new client of our law firm, you get this nifty neck brace to wear in court.'

"Will he ever be able to produce revenue again?"

'For you, I would go through hell and back, I would anticipate your wishes, I would keep you safe and warm, I would love you forever and a day... Of course, just as long as your income doesn't exceed mine!'

"You promised an advance...but this is more of a tactical withdrawal."

"It's our first anniversary, so I've written up your performance review...."

'Some mentor you turned you turned out to be.'

'The 22% tax I understand, but who gets the other 78%?'

'Another stupid ball of string. I was hoping for a tablet."

"Of course we pay a living wage....as long as you only live four days a week!"

"Also, that random comment you made three years ago will count against you."

"I'm sorry but a fat, guzzling wife cannot be classed as a consumable."

"I didn't go to college, but I took out and am defaulting on school loans to make it look like I did."

'Your new boyfriend has potential, needs some omprovement. Overlooks a few things.' 'My husband is an estate agent.'

"They're offering me comprehensive medical and full dental. Now if they just throw in a salary it'll be perfect!"