Income Evaluator T-Shirts

IRS. I made less money this year than last year because I spent six months filling out my tax form!

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

'My salary increase got a few oo-hs.. but no ah-hs..'

Income inequality vs Income Diversity.

'I received matching offers.'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

"When you say you love your life, should I be happy for you?"

Sex Score

'We first met here - when I was doing your job.'

'I want a bigger piece of the pie.'

"About your self employed expenses, do you do anything purely for pleasure?"

"Has it been in your family long?"

'Maybe you just can't have hope and change at the same TIME.'

'Government performance targets reach unprecedented levels.'

"Do you realise 25% of your salary goes to the government?"

'You say here you're a people person.'

'Can you make good money as a salesman for our company? Let's put it this way - look around you!'

Name That Salary

"It all began with trying to measure project outcomes."

'And as a new client of our law firm, you get this nifty neck brace to wear in court.'

"Will he ever be able to produce revenue again?"

"You promised an advance...but this is more of a tactical withdrawal."

'For you, I would go through hell and back, I would anticipate your wishes, I would keep you safe and warm, I would love you forever and a day... Of course, just as long as your income doesn't exceed mine!'

"It's our first anniversary, so I've written up your performance review...."

'Some mentor you turned you turned out to be.'

"I'm sorry but a fat, guzzling wife cannot be classed as a consumable."

'Another stupid ball of string. I was hoping for a tablet."

"Also, that random comment you made three years ago will count against you."

'The 22% tax I understand, but who gets the other 78%?'

"Of course we pay a living wage....as long as you only live four days a week!"

"I didn't go to college, but I took out and am defaulting on school loans to make it look like I did."

"They're offering me comprehensive medical and full dental. Now if they just throw in a salary it'll be perfect!"