Employment Evaluator T-Shirts

'Some mentor you turned you turned out to be.'

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

"Let me put it this way: I'm hitting 'Unlike' and 'Unhire.'"

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

'My salary increase got a few oo-hs.. but no ah-hs..'

"Phizby, your can't do attitude has really cut down on screw-ups around here. Keep up the good work!"

"I'm getting tired of telling you you can't have a raise!"

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

'I received matching offers.'

"Yes, you do go the extra mile for this company. But you've been going in the wrong direction."

'You get paid for what you produce at work not what you produce at home.'

"You've screwed up, messed up and played up. I didn't realise you were so multi-skilled."

'I can show you in our panic room while you're waiting to see the boss.'

"Frankly, your performance has been spotty."

'Treat me easy this morning.'

"When you say you love your life, should I be happy for you?"

'I've read my appraisal and this is my solicitor - I intend to sue you!'

'We value you in ways that cannot be expressed in money.'

Sex Score

'I want a bigger piece of the pie.'

'We first met here - when I was doing your job.'

'You got the job, the family and now the fancy car. But it's not enough, is it? No, my friend, it's never enough.'

"It's way too cerebral. What were you thinking?"

'Well done Flipper, you seem to be balancing your workload well.'

"Has it been in your family long?"

'You say here you're a people person.'

Ssomething tells me this award has gone to his head!

'Government performance targets reach unprecedented levels.'

'Within the last months, you worked perfectly and I've got nothing to blame you for. Do you hate me for something in particular?'

'Your performance review is in...and it's not good.'

"It all began with trying to measure project outcomes."