Inclusive Storyteller Gifts

"Which should we go see: the straight romantic comedy where the heroine's best friend is a gay man, or the gay romantic comedy where the hero's best friend is a straight woman?"

Friends

'It's a book about gays.'

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

Rainbow Quartet

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

Creativity

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'How about having at least one character who's alive and wearing clothes?'

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy

"Hang on! - we've possibly go another couple of films left in here!!"

"Start with a Spanish doubloon. Those are always good."

"It's a coming-of-middle-age story."

"A homeless person ate my homework."

"Whoops - I Accidentally Pressed 'Elevator Pitch.'"

The new boy was teased for being different.

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

'Have you ever thought about doing a children's book?'

'Who else have I written for? Ridge Park Avenue, 7th Street, Elm Road, Thornwood Drive...'

"This X-Ray proves conclusively that you don't have a book in you."

Crafty Beer: "I'm making a scrapbook of when you were still fermenting."

Sammi and her 'partner' decide to have their child baptized at a Suuuuper-inclusive church

'Go right on in, Helen. By the way, be sure to read tomorrow's newspaper - I understand your grandson has drawn a cartoon in your honor.'

"We used your unsold copies to build a tree, but it's not the same."

'Thank you for your submission. If we're interested, we'll be in touch.'