Incentive Seeker Pillows

Man chasing carrot.

"I think marketing's come up with a real winner this time."

'As our new Sales Associate, you'll be on straight commission plus unemployment.'

Finish your spinach and claim a free laptop!

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

'Dammit - how do we get in on that gross national product?'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

'Congratulations, Yomp - we're giving you a bigger carrot!'

'A 10M bonus for your thoughts.'

"Who's ready to see what's going to happen in the fourth quarter?"

"There's gotta be a way to make money off this."

Wearing a sales chart as a name badge.

Carrot VS Stick

"Beyond the fine starting salary, the job of a poet laureate at this corporation also carries with it an excellent medical and dental plan."

Business Outlook

'I took my money out of the bank and put it into municipal bonds...'

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

"And this all happened in the last week..."

Performance Management: "We decided to get rid of the stick and just use the carrots."

"I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 AM, minion." "I try not to wonder." "After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7." "We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep." "Not true. By being closed at 3 AM, we're missing out on the potentially-lucrative Igor the Wino clientele." "Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon." "Very bad man."

"Hang on! - we've possibly go another couple of films left in here!!"

'Oh no its going to be one of those days.'

'Frankly, I'm a little concerned.'

'We hoped you'd respond more enthusiastically to our incentive program.'

"It's been a great year - let's hope we can keep the shareholders from finding out."

"That 'give it away free' strategy certainly worked well."

Charity Shop Income on Rise

"We've been working all the live-long fiscal year to get these numbers up, but I'm afraid some of us are working just to pass the time away."

Investments: Call us hopeless romantics for still believing money can make you happy!

'Well, okay. So we almost bankrupted the country. But we've managed to make a slight profit thanks to the government bail out package, so who can possibly deny us a fat bonus this year?'