Incentive Architect Pillows

'Well of course you outperformed me. The incentives were stacked in your favor.'

'Congratulations, Yomp - we're giving you a bigger carrot!'

"Carrots just didn't get me going anymore, so I switched to chocolate instead..."

Carrot VS Stick

Performance Management: "We decided to get rid of the stick and just use the carrots."

'Stick and Carrot Business Incentive Consultants.'

'We hoped you'd respond more enthusiastically to our incentive program.'

Dangling Carrots

Carrots on sticks wardrobe.

"You've been vital to our great year. Your bonus is whatever you can carry out by midnight."

Well done, I hear you hit your target. Yes, a week for two in Hawaii.

'My tutor kindly agreed to help!'

Carrot on a stick incentive - dog and human.

'How about, 'I am dynamic and results driven.'?' - 'It needs more 'pizazz', more 'sizzle'!' - 'What about, 'I am a dynamic, results driven, innovative, highly motivated team player.'' - 'Almost perfect...' - '...just swap 'team player' for 'chubby little

"Isn't it great? I found little 'Classroom Mode' switches behind their ears."

'Retire now and we'll throw in this set of steak knives! But wait, that's not all...'

Christmas bonus

Wedding Invites

"Follow me."

"Any New Year's resolutions?" "I'm going to do better." "That's a nice sentiment but a little vague. Without a specific benchmark how'll you know you've met it?" "How'll I know I haven't?" "That's oddly logical." "And achievable."

'The great tree of knowledge in his discipline was just pulled out by the roots.'

"You have to think long-term. You can't afford to be old yet."

For Timely Filing

Bait for corporations.

Competing for prospective employees by offering a retirement plan.

'Be innovative and prepared. Have clearly defined educational objectives for each lesson. Write legibly on the board. Be firm and fair. Now go. You have a class to teach.'

"Hey thanks, Mike, but I'm working on my inner self."

Bonus Development

Easter Bunny with a Stick and a Carrot.

'Your ad said no experience necessary.'

"If you ask me, school funding should skip the middleman and just pay me to study harder!"

Isn't that the chap who has just received a �485,000 performance related bonus?