Incentive Strategist Pillows

When choosing between "the carrot or the stick." my experience is that that employees don't like carrots enough!

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

'Dammit - how do we get in on that gross national product?'

'Congratulations, Yomp - we're giving you a bigger carrot!'

'My allowance isn't much - but I have a great benefits package!'

"Carrots just didn't get me going anymore, so I switched to chocolate instead..."

"I finally got tenure by publishing a research paper funded by a grant about subsidies."

Carrot VS Stick

"So, it's agreed - we lay off the stick and hit them hard with the carrot."

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

Performance Management: "We decided to get rid of the stick and just use the carrots."

'Stick and Carrot Business Incentive Consultants.'

'We hoped you'd respond more enthusiastically to our incentive program.'

"The firm is always appointed above competence levels, you topped out at paperclip."

Dangling Carrots

"Any questions regarding our financial incentive plan?"

"We couldn't give you a bigger office, so we shrunk everything down to make it appear bigger."

Carrots on sticks wardrobe.

Finish your spinach and claim a free laptop!

"You've been vital to our great year. Your bonus is whatever you can carry out by midnight."

Man chasing carrot.

'A raise might destroy their initiative. The good old carrot and stick bonus keeps them focused.'

Dispute over pocket money

Carrot on a stick incentive - dog and human.

"My client, whom I shall refer to as your son, has retained me to represent him in these negotiations regarding an increase in his allowance!"

"We're still negotiating. I want a six-figure starting salary and they don't want to hire me."

'Retire now and we'll throw in this set of steak knives! But wait, that's not all...'

The Evolution of the Bonus

"Follow me."

"The teacher says I'm a poor listener, Dad. Will you raise my allowance?"

'If you keep convincing people at work that you are irreplaceable, how can you ever be promoted?'

'Without an increase in my allowance, I'll never be able to pay for the addition on my toy box.'

'Well of course you outperformed me. The incentives were stacked in your favor.'

'of course I know the value of a dollar...That's why I asked for ten of them.'

'That's not really the business incentive I was looking for.'