Inaction Admirer T-Shirts

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'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"We're at the top of the food chain and rulers of all we survey. What could possibly go wrong?"

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

"Just don’t tell the other vultures. I’ll never hear the end of it."

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

Agility God

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

"I just need help getting the pit out."

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

Magic Tricks

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

Fall on a desert island

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

"Police, this is the wife of Magi the magician, something's happened to him!"

First love.

'And then, just to humor the guy I said 'I need a hug', little thinking that the big gorilla would do just that.'

"Here comes the quote unquote dog whisperer."

Caution: ironic literal proverb ahead (fork in the road)

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

'Don't worry it's organic...'

Met Office: Wet today and dry tomorrow.

"Beats me. They put up the sign and went to their panic room."

"Damn! Just as my inertia was starting to build up momentum."

'The company I ran was non-profit, but that wasn't intentional.'

'Do you have to be so melodramatic?'

'I'm Bored'