Innocence Admirer T-Shirts

First love.

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

The DaVinci Code

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

'You know too much,'

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

"We're at the top of the food chain and rulers of all we survey. What could possibly go wrong?"

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

"Just don’t tell the other vultures. I’ll never hear the end of it."

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

Penguins flying to igloo birdhouse

'Come on, I dare you: I say you can't drink a whole dew drop...'

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

Optimist

Zoo: No Hunting.

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

"I just need help getting the pit out."

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

Magic Tricks

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

Mensa Does Improv

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

"Just what is a runcible spoon?"

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

'And then, just to humor the guy I said 'I need a hug', little thinking that the big gorilla would do just that.'

Caution: ironic literal proverb ahead (fork in the road)

"Here comes the quote unquote dog whisperer."

"Take my word for it, sir―it looks just great on you!"

Presidential surveillance ass!"

'Don't worry it's organic...'