In-law Relationship Humorist Gifts

"You're not just another employee to me, Henderson --You're also my useless, no good son-in-law!"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

'Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

Barristers

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

"Happy anniversary, dear… 'happy wife, happy life!'" "That's because nothing rhymes with 'happy husband.'"

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

When at a loss for words Colin would often resort to communicating through the medium of contemporary dance.

'Whaddya mean, 'Quit hogging the blanket'? There's a blanket in here?

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

"I've learned something about you tonight, Alan. You say 'chowmein' when you mean 'lomein'."

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

Always Compatible

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

"Just a minute, Mister. You're not going out of here looking like that."

Tunnel of Temporary Infatuation