Important Meeting Gifts

'Something for the weekend?Not with this haircut!'

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

"The meeting will come to order."

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

"I need to see your budget proposal."

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

Group Think Time

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

"It's been moved that we adjourn for an afternoon nap. Is there a second?"

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

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