Import Banter Lover Pillows

Canadian Cheese Producers Attack Imports

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

'What worried me most is identity theft.'

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

'I like you, you've got balls.'

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

An Archeologic Dig

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

"My client greatly regrets the incident with the carving knife. However, in her defense, 14 people were coming for Thanksgiving and her husband, who had just one job to do, bought only 8 rolls."

"Meanwhile in Dogtown... Put your tongue back in your mouth. And pull up your pants. That’s not what your mom said last night."

'You've got us backward. I'm Vinnie, and my short and subtle brother is Vignette.'

"That fish may be bigger, but I caught more."

Rest in Peace Instant Replay

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

The Art of Bantering!

"I work from home because I can’t stand the sight of idiots." "Is that why you got rid of all our mirrors?"

You look lovely tonight. It's a good think the coat-check girl let me check my thought balloons. !!

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

"Hey Eric. Do you think they're silicone implants?"

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

"Why, Mr. Conly, I do believe you're trying to get me hydrated."

"Have you heard of Murphy's Law 2.0? It's anything that could possibly go wrong often does...as well as a thing or two that couldn't possibly go wrong."

'Have I told you how absolutely lovely you look today?'

'Do you mean I leave a lot to be desired bad, or a lot to be desired good?'

'You're looking well.'

'Sorry, I only drink still wines. I don't have the patience to wait for bubbles to pop.'

"I was listening at the door and I overheard the nickname they have for me."