Impatient Sipper T-Shirts

"You took your time!" "Better latte than never"

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

"I don't care what anybody says, coffee just tastes better in a tree stand. . ."

'C'mon! Speed it up! I've got a bottle of wine here that says it's meant to be drunk soon!'

Running Latte

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

Liquidity Lunch

'I don't care what the timer says - my nose says they're done.'

Velvety. And so was the wine.

'Can you recommend something that will make my date sound interesting.'

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

"I'll just have a Diet Coke. I'm in the middle of my novel."

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

"Sipsies?"

"To prevent any complaints like "when will our ordered food be served" guests can now follow the work in the kitchen on TV."

"While you're waiting for your order, can I pick something off someone else's plate for you?"

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

'Then that's one steak well done and fries, and one anything as long as it's fast.'

Coffee Overload: 'I'll have a low fat soy latte, no sugar, two biscotti...make that a Columbian-Kenyan bean bend...oh make it snappy, I'm in a hurry!'

"Okay, we got one cherry lager, with bitters and a pineapple slice, and one honey malt ale with cinnamon and an orange weist. You want these in steins or parfait glasses?"

"Generally speaking, when his nose gives way, it means he's had enough."

'It's better to drink a little too much than much too little!'

'Make up your mind, M'sieur — a hundred years from now, what difference will it make what you had for lunch today?'

Men's Parallel Bars

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'

"I've never been wild about this bar, but it does get you where you want to go."

"I avoided the flu all winter...but spring fever finally got me."