Impatient Snackers T-Shirts

'I don't care what the timer says - my nose says they're done.'

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

'C'mon! Speed it up! I've got a bottle of wine here that says it's meant to be drunk soon!'

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

Breakfast surreal.

Inactive wear store.

"Whosoever pulleth this sword from this stone, and can eat just two or three of these double-chocolate Amaretto things without finishing the whole box, shall be king born of England!"

Shortly Thereafter, They Would Make Sweeping Changes To Their Policies.

'Are we nearly there yet Dad?'

"You took your time!" "Better latte than never"

'Okay, kids, we're finally here.'

'Then that's one steak well done and fries, and one anything as long as it's fast.'

Lady has a coffee break.

"To prevent any complaints like "when will our ordered food be served" guests can now follow the work in the kitchen on TV."

'Don't take it personally... he doesn't know I'm here either.'

'We've been through thick and thin. Tell me about the thin again.'

"My smarthome just sent me a text saying it's a mess, so it doesn't feel like having visitors right now."

'Make up your mind, M'sieur — a hundred years from now, what difference will it make what you had for lunch today?'

"I'm fairly sure you can't count jaffa cakes as one of your five a day."

Doomed Food Group

'Dinner was taking too long, so I just went ahead and ordered pizza.'

"That summit Johnson! Our goal is the summit!"

Supermarket Aisles.

'Come on, make it snappy I haven't got all day,'

'The dietary exchange for this food is 3 days of unrelenting remorse.'

Snack Time

"Hurry up! I'm gasping for a cheese sandwhich."

'Biscuit?' 'Leave it in the in-tray for the morning.'

'The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it!'

'If I collapse there's a cherry danish in my lunchbox.'

'Sorry to keep you waiting.'

'Making these snacks low-fat was great because substituting sweetener for fat made them even more addictive.'

'Most people wouldn't wantonly eat the hors d'oeuvres if they hadn't read the book.'