Sentimental Snackers T-Shirts

'We've been through thick and thin. Tell me about the thin again.'

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

Breakfast surreal.

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

Ice Cream Flavors

"Eating huge amounts of chocolate sometimes helps."

Shortly Thereafter, They Would Make Sweeping Changes To Their Policies.

"You complete me."

'Food has replaced sex in my life. Now I can't even get into my own pants.'

Saturn Devouring His Feelings

"My smarthome just sent me a text saying it's a mess, so it doesn't feel like having visitors right now."

'He asked me if I wanted to put anything on my burger, so I had a tenner each way.'

'But who comforts the comfort food? I'll tell you who: NOBODY.'

"You came up in therapy this morning."

'You can eat whatever you like on this diet, and here's a list of whatever you like.'

"You're not going to believe this -- they're making deep-fried manna."

"That summit Johnson! Our goal is the summit!"

The Many Moods of Produce: Bitter Melon, Passion Fruit, Sour Cherries, Sweet Potato.

'This steak isn't very tender.'

'The dietary exchange for this food is 3 days of unrelenting remorse.'

"With these electricity prices we can't afford cooking anymore. Imagine eating sausage-favored popsicles."

"I'm prescribing comfort food three times a day and any time you feel uncomfortable."

'I couldn't get the beans out of the toaster.'

"I'm not eating. I'm self-medicating,"

"I overeat when I'm stressed and I'm stressed about my weight."

Diet.

"Would you describe yourself as conservative voter."

'Making these snacks low-fat was great because substituting sweetener for fat made them even more addictive.'

"Pizza lover's pizza"

Vegan

'I heard today that if you're unhappy, you can gain weight.'

'Are you genetically modified? - Then you'll love our G.M. food.'

'Most people wouldn't wantonly eat the hors d'oeuvres if they hadn't read the book.'