Immigration Storytellers Gifts

'You see! What did I tell you about this place?'

Noah's life jacket demonstration

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

"I thought about looking for work in England, but I hear they're capping bonuses."

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

"And so another trip comes to an end...with family brought closer together by a shared experience."

Like Minded

"I don't mind emotional trauma if I can turn it into a really funny anecdote."

"That's what we look like naked??"

The aviation experts come out to play

Marmalade the Cheetah on stilts.

'I got them to agree to a small settlement.'

"These are my windscreen credits."

"So that's Ireland."

Desert Island Gossipping

"I came to this country with nothing but the hair on my back."

"Yes, I know I only caught a lizard - it's called artistic license, Mildred!"

'Pastor, tell us more about hell. Is it warm there?'

'I met a circus acrobat on holiday, two performances a night, and a matinee on Sunday.'

"Hang on, shouldn't you be drawing yourself screaming and running in the opposite direction?"

"Hi. First time, long time. Second marriage, second mortgage. Forty years old, forty pounds overweight. No question - I just like talking about myself."

Elsa Alina Murano is president of Texas A&M, one of the country's 10-largest universities. She came to the USA from Cuba when she was barely 2 years old. She obviously started at an early age."

"We prefer 'near-eastern', it's friendlier than 'mid-eastern'."

'There's a world-wide community out there. How about a little French or Spanish, or even some Russian, once in a while.'

"With city rents stratospheric the filing cabinet is all she could afford!"

Not a Cage/Not a Citizen

"When I was small, all the kids in my family had their own personal jacuzzis."

Shakespeare as an Infant

South Fallsview will not be seen today. Welcome to East Foxboro.

'My name was actually Smithkowicz, but they heaven-ized it to Smith.'

Immigration and Naturalization Service has no idea what it's doing.

Migrant Centre

"Okay...I'll hold the ball and you run up and kick it, then you hold the ball and I'll run up and kick it, then I'll hold the ball and..."

'Even tho' he now lives in a ritz, upscale neighborhood, he hasn't changed a bit!'