Immigration Satirist Gifts

Immigration and Naturalization Service has no idea what it's doing.

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

Volcano Sacrifice Competition

"I'd like to have a word with you about this spirit animal."

Litter Tray Stonehenge

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

Alabama Traffic Jam

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Latest Aye Phone

Macho Vegetarian

"'Burned out,' Parker?- I wasn't aware you ever even 'caught fire.'"

'Secondhand smoke.'

Matador Artificial Insemination.

Suburban street.

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

'Then, to stop the spread, they burned the village and sent me home.'

"I'm afraid the umbrella constitutes an enclosed space and must be taken down."

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

"You idiot! It's all bare walls and Ikea these days."

Queen's final visit to Australia: 'STrewth! Chack anatha prawn on the barbie Phil..'. Charles 'Apparently, the Aussies insisted on a few conditions..'

Autumn Leaves

Traffic Lights Medicine

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

"I only allow myself one after a meal - I'm now down to 43 meals a day!"

Max Beerbohm

"It's an epic saga of a tier 1 girl and a tier 3 boy who fall in love without their families' consent."

"It's actually an ink stain but my wife has grown quite fond of it."

Lex Ave Express

"That's why you don't smoke near the dang cannon!"

"You remind me very much of myself when I was your age, Carter, and there is no way that this company would employ such a person."

'Well actually, the only reason I put my head out of the window is that Master smokes while driving...'

The Seder plate at Ye Olde Yankee Inne

"We find the Rolf Harris tape provides reassurance for our clients."