Immigration Satirist Gifts

Immigration and Naturalization Service has no idea what it's doing.

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

Volcano Sacrifice Competition

"I'd like to have a word with you about this spirit animal."

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

Alabama Traffic Jam

Macho Vegetarian

Latest Aye Phone

'Secondhand smoke.'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

"'Burned out,' Parker?- I wasn't aware you ever even 'caught fire.'"

Suburban street.

Matador Artificial Insemination.

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

'Then, to stop the spread, they burned the village and sent me home.'

"I'm afraid the umbrella constitutes an enclosed space and must be taken down."

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

Queen's final visit to Australia: 'STrewth! Chack anatha prawn on the barbie Phil..'. Charles 'Apparently, the Aussies insisted on a few conditions..'

"You idiot! It's all bare walls and Ikea these days."

Autumn Leaves

Traffic Lights Medicine

"I only allow myself one after a meal - I'm now down to 43 meals a day!"

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

Lex Ave Express

"It's an epic saga of a tier 1 girl and a tier 3 boy who fall in love without their families' consent."

'Well actually, the only reason I put my head out of the window is that Master smokes while driving...'

"It's actually an ink stain but my wife has grown quite fond of it."

"You remind me very much of myself when I was your age, Carter, and there is no way that this company would employ such a person."

Max Beerbohm

The Seder plate at Ye Olde Yankee Inne

Intentional Community vs. Community of Sheer Happenstance

",,,These job cuts will not affect patient care...."