Imaginative Parent Gifts

"Delia, I’d like you to meet one of my oldest and dearest friends."

"Mom, there's a monster under my bed. Can we keep it?"

"Look Daddy, at least the poor economy hasn't affected the Tooth Fairy yet!"

'That's not the image I wanted to leave him with.'

'Good morning, Dad, It's your turn to be the cowboys!'

". . . and this little piggy said 'to heck with it. Let's all go down to the Market Tavern!'"

Children in fancy dress on the way to music lessons

"I read the book and it has way better special effects than the movie."

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

A boy acting suspiciously

'She's just great with the children.'

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"What's your project for the science fair, Arnold?"

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

"Werewolves of London..."

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

'Care to gaze upon the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

Baby tells other Baby to call.

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

'Where do I put the batteries?'

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

'And when you're done here honey, I have a nice periwinkle picked out for the foyer!'

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'