Imaginative Humor Lover Pillows

"Look! No hands!"

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

Gardening Calendar: January - The Snow will be deep now...get out into the garden...

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

The Hammer

"You are still here."

Public footpath on a desert island.

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

Anti-inflammation recipes

"Daisy, that fall broke my leg pretty badly. You need to go get help, girl - oh, what a big stretch! Who’s a good stretcher? Daisy’s a good stretcher! What a good girl…"

'Where Are They Now?'

Cinderella insisted on always having glass slippers - even into old age...

The worm that churned!

'You're a good man, Henderson, but you don't have your staff's respect.'

"I've deregulated Arthur, but he still doesn't run very efficiently."

'Old mother hubbard -- your cupboard is now bare.'

"I've worked as a wet-nurse for ten years, but I'm after something new now..."

Help! Send fishing tackle!

"I'll have dessert first."

"I was kicked out from another kid's bed. Do you mind if I crash under yours for awhile?"

"Fit the reality to our statistics!"

"Look! A sushi bar!"

'I gave up hope of receiving a Genius Grant years ago. Now I'm basically shooting for the less impressive Mediocrity Grant.'

IT security.

"Care for an oxymoron?"

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..."

"I was thinking of joining a parenting class."

Banana

New anti-obesity cookbook.

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'