Thoughtful Humor Lover Pillows

"Hey Alexa, show me something erudite, something with an eclectic and thoughtful perspective from global history... but with t*ts."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Support the Ex-Troops

Albert Einstein

"Look! No hands!"

Crap from the future.

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Gardening Calendar: January - The Snow will be deep now...get out into the garden...

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

"You are still here."

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

"Oooh, I know what I want to be when I grow up: Retired!"

The Hammer

Public footpath on a desert island.

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

Honest Voting Stickers

The Monroe Doctrine

Anti-inflammation recipes

"Ah...summer...and umbrellas as far as you can see...it reminds me of England!"

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

'Where Are They Now?'

Before disposing of useless information please make file copies.

'You're a good man, Henderson, but you don't have your staff's respect.'

Evil Henchman Gets a Promotion.

Think tanks.

"I've deregulated Arthur, but he still doesn't run very efficiently."

"I'll have dessert first."

Only in America

Suggestions and Cheap Shots.

Our large economy size packet hasn't been selling...it's too big to carry home.

Infection Control Center. Now Hiring. I should have said "I'm not afraid of hard work" rather than "I don't mind getting my hands dirty."