Thoughtful Humor Lover Pillows

"Hey Alexa, show me something erudite, something with an eclectic and thoughtful perspective from global history... but with t*ts."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"Look! No hands!"

Crap from the future.

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Gardening Calendar: January - The Snow will be deep now...get out into the garden...

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

The Hammer

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

"Oooh, I know what I want to be when I grow up: Retired!"

"You are still here."

Public footpath on a desert island.

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

The Monroe Doctrine

'Where Are They Now?'

Honest Voting Stickers

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

Anti-inflammation recipes

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

"Ah...summer...and umbrellas as far as you can see...it reminds me of England!"

Before disposing of useless information please make file copies.

'You're a good man, Henderson, but you don't have your staff's respect.'

Think tanks.

Evil Henchman Gets a Promotion.

"I've deregulated Arthur, but he still doesn't run very efficiently."

Our large economy size packet hasn't been selling...it's too big to carry home.

Help! Send fishing tackle!

Suggestions and Cheap Shots.

"I'll have dessert first."