Thought-provoking Humor Fan Pillows

"No son, they're not ants, they're poor people."

Support the Ex-Troops

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

The Brothers Grime

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

10 K Tail-Chase

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

Trump Poutine

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

A Golden Non-Retriever

"The president says there isn't a flood. What's the harm in humoring him?" "Hey! Would somebody pull Lindsey up for air?"

The Snooze Bar.

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Beer Parasol.

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

Winter Weather.

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

No, I don

'More government surveillance!'

'Joe has been partying hard!'

tRUMp, Pirate President

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'