Imaginary Rock Star Gifts

'He's my personal adviser...he's teaching me the air guitar.'

Robert Fripp

He kept up his guitar practise...

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

ZZZZZZZ Top

Tuning Up for the Air Guitar Competition

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

Elvis Presley

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy'. You in?"

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

Rocking Witches.

Freddie Mercury

Guitar Man.

"...then finally, I got serious and started a band."

Vishnu playing twin neck guitar.

Jimi Hendrix.

Steve Howe.

"Play dead!" "What a long strange trip its been..."

'Of course we've got Marshall amps Jim! Only the best up here.'

'Your drug test came back positive. Welcome aboard.'

"I'll bet you can't name three of their songs."

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

Rock star uses phone on stage: 'Hang on Mom, I'm just putting you on speakerphone.'

Ringo Starr

'Why is the guitarist doing a Jack Sparrow impression?'

Ray Davies

'I'm sure I could lie on my back waving my feet in the air if I could play the saxophone.'

"Next, I'd like to play 'Guantanamera.'"

The concert was going smoothly until Frankenstein's band played a ballad.

'Man it's a tough crowd tonight!'

Plymouth Rock

Language purists bring correctness to a whole new level, forcing a name change for Ireland's most famous band.

'I knew it was time to do something when I leapt from the stage to do some body surfing and the crowd parted.'

'Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream...'

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.