Illustration Fanatic Pillows

A man emerges from a red ink bottle

Aubrey Beardsley

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

Dolphin friendly tuna

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

Pastries and Candy

'You just don't know when to stop, do you?'

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

'Amount of white out used while writing, Moby Dick, an issue of The National Enquirer, and 101 Uses for a Dead Cat.'

A Footnote - Self Portrait of Beardsley, Bound to the God of Nature

Medical Marijuana Dispensary / Medical Cheez Doodles Dispensary

No jay walking.

"You're supposed to grow a lot of little ones."

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

Child hooking into a television

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'

Would you mind putting the barbecue out?

Jim Carrey,

"From downtown...the shark scores!"

Death Beggar

"I'm glad I don't have to put gas in it. the downside is that it takes a lot of time to put 3,000 AA batteries in it."

"You have perhaps only. . . six hundred months to live!!!"

'Yes, I love you, but my family would disown me if I cross-pollinated with a weed, so our relationship must end.'

'You're looking in the wrong section.'

'How now, brown cow?'

Tuna Surprise $4.95. You have to admit - he's pretty surprising!

"The bagel’s from a previous marriage."

"Well, all the qualifications are here; 'sit', 'stay', 'roll over', 'beg'…."

One giant bark for dogkind.

After this embarrassing incident, the woman who lived in a shoe finally checked herself into odor-eaters anonymous.

Reigning Cats and Dogs

'(Sniff!)... Hey! Somebody stole my identity!'

'How could he say there's nothing wrong with me when I've given him the best symptoms of my life!'

"Wanna come back to my pad..?"