Illustration Fanatic Gifts

A man emerges from a red ink bottle

Aubrey Beardsley

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

'You just don't know when to stop, do you?'

Dolphin friendly tuna

Pastries and Candy

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

A Footnote - Self Portrait of Beardsley, Bound to the God of Nature

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

Medical Marijuana Dispensary / Medical Cheez Doodles Dispensary

No jay walking.

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

"You're supposed to grow a lot of little ones."

Would you mind putting the barbecue out?

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'

Child hooking into a television

"I'm glad I don't have to put gas in it. the downside is that it takes a lot of time to put 3,000 AA batteries in it."

'You're looking in the wrong section.'

Death Beggar

"You have perhaps only. . . six hundred months to live!!!"

'Yes, I love you, but my family would disown me if I cross-pollinated with a weed, so our relationship must end.'

'(Sniff!)... Hey! Somebody stole my identity!'

"The bagel’s from a previous marriage."

"Well, all the qualifications are here; 'sit', 'stay', 'roll over', 'beg'…."

One giant bark for dogkind.

Reigning Cats and Dogs

After this embarrassing incident, the woman who lived in a shoe finally checked herself into odor-eaters anonymous.

'How could he say there's nothing wrong with me when I've given him the best symptoms of my life!'

'I'm not hibernating there again - I got the heebie-jeebies being around so many snakes!'

Noah's lesser known brother.